Innovation – the “Mother” of Necessity

So, does anyone have any uses for a terrycloth bathrobe besides wearing it when you get out of the shower?

I do.

When your kids don’t clear out the garbage disposal before setting the dishwasher to turn on and said dishwasher can’t empty so it spews its water all over your kitchen floor, the terrycloth bathrobe is quite handy for sopping up the mess.

Of course that will leave you naked in your kitchen while you try to siphon the rest of the water from the dishwasher into bowls that you almost break yanking them from the cabinet and which fill up far too easily with the dishwasher water, and while shoving paper towels under the cabinets/dishwasher/stove to wick up the water that’s flowing everywhere, not to mention picking up the kitchen rugs that have also turned into sponges…

That’s what you can use a terrycloth robe for.

Sadly, once sopping wet, it does NOT make a very good shield for you to use to run naked through your house as the Fed Ex guy drives up your driveway.

I kid you not.

And, of course, all of this necessitates a few loads of laundry from all the dishtowels that you started off using before you thought to whip off your robe (and THEN close the blinds. I swear, my neighbors probably WENT blind from that sight.)

Luckily I heard it dribbling (more like fountain-ing) onto the floor, said, “That doesn’t sound right” and ran into the kitchen so it didn’t make it to the drywall in the ceiling below. But, oh, how how much water there was in that short amount of time.
And as for windows… one of the best features of this house to me is the windows. My last house felt  like a dungeon – this one has LOTS of bright light and windows.

Yep. It does.

My poor neighbors.

Oh, and just to add to today’s fun, this all happened after I took a Kid to the bus, only to find out said child didn’t have the necessary clothing for the after-school thing, so we had to drive back home (I’m in my FLUFFY blue robe at this point), where Child could run in and grab the clothing.

We miss the bus at the NEXT stop and it doesn’t stop anywhere else in the neighborhood. Luckily, the bus driver stopped when I blared on the horn as I followed him out of the neighborhood. Unluckily, said Child forgets the bag of stuff that needs to be returned to a teacher so I have to get out of my car in my FLUFFY blue robe and run to the bus.

The neighbors on that street texted me. What a good mom am I.

And all this fun by 10 am.

So, how was your day?


27 Responses

  1. thought you’d like that,

  2. LOL!!!!! Bet the FedEx guy and neighbors thought Christmas came early this year!

  3. Um, Not as hectic as yours, lol! Sorry about the dishwasher, that sucks.

    I have lots of windows too, but I don’t have to worry about two legged neighbors seeing me. I might have blinded a few deer or such, from time to time. Remind me to tell you some time about the dangers of wearing a robe out of the shower and having to run outside to one of the pens only to get it caught on a gate. Can I say Tie belts aren’t good enough?

  4. Cathy – more like Halloween was late.

    Sia – snork! but 4-legged neighbors are much more forgiving and prone to forgetting!

  5. Judi–Makes me want to take my blue fluffy robe, put it in a glass-fronted box on the wallk with a IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, BREAK GLASS sign on the front. You know, just in case.

    Sorry about your morning, but thanks for the chuckles.


  6. Alexis, I’ve decided it’s got to be the blue. I need a purple robe now. Maybe that’ll bring me better luck.

  7. I can see me doing something like that. OMG! Such a scene.

  8. Put your lunch aside for this one. You’ll thank me for the warning later.

    Last night, oldest son complains of “rectal bleeding” (I kid you not) so I semi-happily ditch the audit at work-it’s still going to be there tomorrow–and tell the boss I’ll be out today. Son *has* been a little stressed at school so I’m thinking bleeding hemorrhoids. I call doctor’s office at 8 when they open, only to hear, “Take him to the ER; there’s nothing we can do for him here.” (Translation; they don’t want to fit us into the schedule. GP copay: $20; ER copay: $50. I’d much rather go to the GP but they say no. Multiple times.) I get cleaned up, tell oldest son to do likewise, and we head for the ER. Check in is pleasant, the wait isn’t long, but a female Doogie Howser–my car is older than she is–informs us it’s not hemorrhoids, it’s a cyst. We have a scrip for salve and off we go to Walgreens. Son says, “Can we get McDonalds while we’re there?” Sure, why not. It’s 11 and I’m starving too. We spend $50 on a $5 prescription because during the 15 minute wait, I’ve found stuff I don’t really need but I want. Pay for our stuff, get in the car, drive to other side of shopping center to McD’s, only to get called an “ignorant bitch” by a fatass broad in a Cadillac who believes she needed the grease fix way more than I did, and she threatens my car and flips several birds at me while we wait to pull through. I ask if she kisses her kids with that mouth (I spy two toddlers running loose in the back seat; got seatbelts?), and she calls me other choice words and wishes me Merry Christmas. I wish her Namaste and drive away, only to have her follow me home. She lives 2 blocks down. Nifty. Oldest son is in passenger seat, cradling food bag like a teddy bear and wishing he’d kept his mouth shut about the rectal bleeding.

    At least I didn’t flash the neighbors, but the day is still young. Think of it this way, Judi. Your day can only get better. I still think of the cookies in the mailbox story every now and then. 🙂

  9. Well, Carla, now not only does my mailman think I love him, but the Fed Ex guy loves ME. LOL.

    Hugs on the $50 prescription. And the neighbor. Gotta wonder what her problem is – and I’m sure you’ll find out over the next few years.

  10. Not to laugh at your troublesome start to the day, but LMAO!

  11. Oh, please, Denise, laugh away! If I can’t laugh about it, I’ll end up being really really angry and frustrating at all the extra work when I’m on deadline.

    Laughter IS the best medicine.

  12. OMG, too funny, Judi!

    Gee, and my husband gets on my case when I dart topless down to the laundry room to retrieve a clean bra. I’m going to send this link to him!

  13. Hmmm…maybe this has the makings of a good romance novel? Of course, this could only happen when it is days before Christmas and you are on a deadline!
    Thanks for sharing!!

  14. Judi, you should market your robe as a mix between a snuggie and a shamwow. You’ll make eleventy million bucks, easy. You just need Vince to do your commercials. Be sure to keep him away from your nuts though or he’ll slap chop them. 🙂

  15. it is going to show up in a story I’m working on outside of the ones I’m contracted for, so I call dibs. I should get SOMEthing good out of this mess!

  16. Judi this is why I wear sweats and a tank top. Of course the floor would not have had the deliciously thick terrycloth to save it, but alas, so goes the floor.

  17. Sorry, I can’t help laughing at all the tales! And you’ve wondered why, in 20 years, I’ve made it a point NOT to introduce myself to the neighbors. It’s so they can’t name me when they’re telling their friends about my latest clothing optional moment!

  18. yes, I did think of you, Kat. I cleaned the bathroom clothing-optionally a few days ago. Mainly because I was in the blue robe and didn’t want it to get wet.

    And you see the irony.

  19. OHMIGOSH Judi!

    I’m hoping that your afternoon was MUCH better! LOL!

    I’m going to think of this when I THINK I’m having a bad day…

    Terri B

  20. Thanks, Terri. In the grand scheme of things I guess it wasn’t catastrophic, but still, annoying.

  21. Judi, Oh, thanks for the laugh; I sooo needed it today. ROFLMAO. Just think of all the good karma, luck, blessings, you built up with making all of us laugh!
    Hugs on your bad morning,

  22. That’s me – I aim to provide laughter. Always at my expense of course. 🙂

  23. My day was no where near as exciting or aerobic as yours!

    Whew – you ARE the BEST Mom.

  24. at least I got a fun blog post out of it. LOL

  25. LOL, Judi. At least you weren’t wearing a fancy silk robe with sentimental value.

    And what did the neighbor text say when she saw you chasing the bus in the blue terrycloth robe?

  26. True about the robe, but then using it as a sponge wouldn’t have been an issue and my modesty (and others’ sensibilities) wouldn’t have suffered.

    Neighbor texted that I was a good mom.

    Yet I still had to rush the kids around this morning to get them to the bus on time. Sheesh.

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